Menfriends Beginner’s Guide


 You can read the guide below or pick one up at the venue


The Menfriends Beginner’s Guide
Christchurch’s Premium Venue
For Men

Its OK to be nervous

A first time visit to a place like Menfriends can be a bit scary – most guys find it a bit of a challenge.  Sooner or later you will get up the nerve to visit us and then you’ll wonder why it took you so long!  On your first visit, take your time to look around the venue, see how things work and try to relax.  Remember – you are in control at all times; our Team members are available for assistance or advice at any time.

What Menfriends is about

Menfriends Sauna is a two floor time-out space for guys where you can relax and be yourself, socially and sexually. We would love to be able to cater to everyone but we don’t. For details on this see our Access Policy under the Hours & Prices Tab. 

Menfriends offers social space as well as space and facilities for hook-ups without questions.  What happens inside stays inside and what you do is up to you.  That can be something or nothing..your choice the whole way.  Everyone is coming from their own direction sexually – that’s good with us and should be good with you as well.  It’s about respecting other guys and what they are in to.  We are a no-alcohol venue and cater to any male aged 18 and above.

Upon Arrival

When you first arrive at Menfriends you will be issued a large fresh towel and a key to a locker for your clothes and personal items. If it is a first-time visit, tell the Receptionist this when you arrive.  He will point you in the right direction and explain where things are.  He is also there to answer any questions you might have in the back of your mind.

Next, go to your locker and get sorted. Get rid of excess clothing and wear whatever you are comfortable with wearing; just remember our Dress Code. Most guys strip right off and wrap a towel around their waist but you are welcome to stay fully dressed if you’d prefer.

Menfriends occupies 2 floors and now’s the time to go explore the whole place. You might get ‘distracted’ during your look around but if not, a hot shower and a spa is a good way to start your visit.

There are two ways to utilise Menfriends – sexually and socially.  Try to do both if you can spare the time and go at your own pace; give the venue a chance to work for you.

When your visit is over, please return your towel and locker key to the Tuck Shop.

Other guys and You

You can do whatever you want sexually.  If that is with another guy then it should be with a guy that you want to be withYou don’t have to go with the first or any guy that hits on you.  Even though it is rare, if you strike a guy that wont leave you alone or take a hint, please advise one of our Team members. They will help discreetly. You do not have to put up with someone crowding you.  A guy is entitled to ask twice – you may change your mind!  More than twice we consider harassment and so should you.  You can say “no” at ANY time.  At Menfriends it’s cool to be sexual and explore it for real, alone or with someone else.  Many guys on a first time visit go solo to break the ice.  Solo is cool too!

Make the most from your visit

Try to balance your visit. There are lots of things to do at Menfriends and variety is the key to enjoying your time. Surf the internet or catch a movie, soak in the spa sauna or steam, read a mag, the newspaper and relax over a free coffee.

Your chances of meeting someone are a lot better if you move about.

Hooking Up – How to

1. Eye contact – if your look is returned – a good sign! If he ignores you – he’s probably not interested. If he’s looking at you, that’s a good sign he’s keen.

2. If you find a hand on your cock in the Spa pool you can safely assume he’s interested!  If you are not interested say so, move away or move the hand away.

3. Some guys like to charm others with words – beware the guy who thinks just because you listen to him you are also keen on him.  If you are keen on him, respond accordingly.  Not everyone who talks to you wants to lay you so learn to spot the difference.

4. Gentle touching or brushing against a person when passing is a good start – if they respond with interest, that’s a good sign.

5. NEVER look sad. Being off your face is a guarantee you will be left alone and you probably wont be admitted anyway.

6. Sometimes it just happens and you didn’t have to do anything at all.

. . . it doesn’t matter if you’re gay, bisexual , don’t know, or don’t care.
What matters is that you can be sexual and be yourself.

Our Dress Code

Any of these:
1. Towel Only   2. Towel and top   3. Fully clothed   4. Fetish  5.  Top and Jocks

If you see a guy you fancy – let him know – he cannot read your mind.

SAFE Sex – Using a ‘rubber’

Our advice is to never let anyone convince you to have sex without a condom – it could cause complications in your life that you just don’t need. Yes, most guys would rather have sex without a condom and sometimes you will find that YOU are the hardest person to convince – especially if he’s hot.  At the end of the day, it’s up to you but do not be persuaded to go bareback by someone telling you they are ‘clean’ because PEOPLE LIE.  A good way to get sexually comfortable with using a condom is by jacking-off regularly with one on – it’s fun too! See the Your Sexual Health section on this website about our weekly free and anonymous Sexual Health Clinic.  They are very professionally run, free and totally anonymous which is good if you don’t want the whole world knowing your personal business.

Your Privacy

We will guard your privacy at all times during your visit and it’s a good idea to guard your own until your are certain. When you first meet someone, they only know the guy in front of them.  If you want it to stay that way, we urge caution in giving out your personal details. Make someone earn your trust in this regard and if they are keen they will wait until you are ready to divulge those kind of details.

We will not accept phone messages, phone calls or pass messages to any client or staff member for any reason under any circumstances.  While you are in Menfriends, as far as the outside world is concerned, you do not exist.

Our Team

Our team is here to run the venue and ensure it remains a safe clean place to relax and play for everyone.  It can be a tough job at times so Team members deserve your respect and compliance with any (what we consider to be a) reasonable request.  Please remember they are responsible for the venue and everyone in it, not just one individual.            

  other useful tips . . .

 ~ Be realistic in your expectations. Sometimes Mr Right will be here and you get lucky, other times Mr Right Now will do.

~ In dark area’s walk slowly until your eye’s adjust to the light level.

~ An open door is an invitation to come in – but no obligations are implied. The guy inside still has a choice.

~ Loud talking/conversations are discouraged in sexual spaces – it’s very off-putting for guys getting it on and its rude.

~ If you want it all to happen inside 20 minutes you are probably in the wrong place.  It might – but don’t count on it.

~ Dress Codes stated in Special Sessions are not optional – which is why they are so popular! If you can’t handle it – please wait until you can, you’ll enjoy it then.

~ If someone says “no”, it’s their loss not yours. Never take it personally. “NO” means “NO” – get over it and move on.

~ Smoking – you are welcome to smoke in the Garden.

~ Dont encourage pick-pockets. Leave your valuables at Reception.

~ Cellphone use is discouraged but we would ask for considerate use when necessary.
If someone else can hear you talking on the phone, that’s inconsiderate.

~ Pass Outs are available on departure for all Entry’s.  If you wish to leave the building you can return FREE at anytime within the same session.

Menfriends caters to a very wide variety of guys, each with their own tastes, interests and preferences.  Some parts of the venue will suit you and some parts will suit others better.  We suggest that you use the parts that you like and wait until the others are more to your liking.